I'm joining you mamas, down in the trenches.

I was inspired to record a video talking about some normal happenings of our day, each day, so as to share with you the normalcy of the life of a mom... especially if you are a stay at home mom... and especially if you are Catholic. I am not offering expert advice by any means, but just "the day in the life of" and "how I survive" and "how I pray" in the midst of it all! I will try my best to be helpful, sometimes entertaining, and on occasion, very funny.

Down in the trenches some days but, my eyes facing You, my Lord

They are pure gifts to me. Sometimes I do not see it. I am reminding myself every day: that they make me holy, that every act of love done for them is an act of obedience for Jesus, and that every day that seems so long and hard will be gone so soon.

I adore you, Oh Lord, and I praise you. You have given me so much.

Jesus, meek and humble of heart...

Every day I have to look into their eyes and be reminded that these children are a gift from God and each moment with them is an act of obedience to God... He has entrusted them to me.

They are the ones meek and humble. I am the one learning from them. That being said, they are also learning from me. When I see one of them yell at the other, I remember that it is me who has taught them to yell. My self control, my meekness reflects on them. My agitation, my aggression, my anger, my quick switch... also reflects on them.

Thanks to Michelle Dugger, I have recently begun a new practice. Every time I am tempted to yell, I whisper instead. This is a very hard thing to do. I see the Lord's great plan for my holiness and detachment to my sentiments as he teaches me this self control. You say, they won't listen... but try it... they want to stop and strain to hear what it is you are saying to them... they love you.

"Mom, I'm hungry."
"Mom, this is very bad. Come see what Adam did."
"Mom, please get me something to drink."
"Mom, can you put this costume on me?'
"Mom, will you play legos with me?"
"Mom, I'm SO hungry."
"Mom, what time is it? Are my friends home yet?"
"Mom, I don't want to do that."
"Mom, can you come wipe me."
"Mom, I was playing with that first."
"Mom, I need help."
"Mom, I don't want to take my nap."
And the list goes on...

My name is called hundreds of times a day. Let's not mention the small baby who cannot even say "Mom" yet. She certainly tells me when she needs something.

My patience starts to wear thin and I carry people around, hear my name, feed people, and wish to sit for just a moment. I start to grow grumpy and tired as the day goes on. I then start to raise my voice. Why does everyone need ME? Ahh. I just need a minute. But, no, it is me HE calls to, not them. They are my cross. They are my path. I must learn to be a mother of gentleness and humility and service. Of course, I need to correct them, I need to protect them, and I need to set boundaries, but quietly and consistently.

So, I am working with many failures to stop raising my voice. I am trying to keep it peaceful here. I am the only one, along with their dad, who will teach them their first taste of peace. It's of eternal importance.

Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart more like yours.

Come pray the rosary...

She looks for us. Our Mother looks for us like any mother keeps up with their child... whether we are doing well and fine or are in a state of suffering, panic, or feeling lonely. She waits for us like Christ does. She wants us to sit beside her and speak to her of the heaviness of our hearts. She waits.

It seems I have made her wait long some days... or months. I have been distant from our Mother. There has been so much chaos. For a woman who is a mother, I suggest this; that you pray at least a decade of the rosary every day. Meet with her daily. She will sit next to you and hold your hand along the way.

Something that helps a mommy to pray the rosary is something I recently found called "www.comepraytherosary.org"

Go here and decide how you would like to pray that day... what mystery, as an individual or a group... etc. Turn it on and let them lead you. You can do it in the midst of nursing babies, folding laundry, doing dishes. We forget to often that Christ wants us to find him in our daily routine. He wants us to just love simply in our simple moments. So pray and "sit" with Mary while you serve him in your home. You can even give hugs, pour drinks, cook dinner, kiss boo boos, and hold a baby while you pray.

My kids are starting to learn that this is their mom's quiet time. They can pray along with me, watch the pictures of Jerusalem on the screen of the computer or if they need something super important, they can quietly whisper, "Excuse me" and I can pause the rosary for a moment. Its easy to teach them. They love watching the bead on the screen light up when we get to the next pray too.

Our day needs to be saturated in the Lord. It will help us so much. His grace will fill us. In the midst of all the mess, He is there.

A small lesson

I want to remember everything. Its too bad there is not enough time to write it all down.

One thing that I want to remember is how quickly they learned and how easily their hearts can be turned towards generosity.

We had cookies I made the other day and when there were only a few left, I used it as a lesson in generosity. I handed out one of the cookies that were left to Gabriel and asked him to split it in half. Once he did, I asked him if he should keep the bigger part or the smaller part. He said, "Maybe the bigger one." Ah, yes, of course. That's what is natural. Especially if it's chocolate, but let's talk about how to love your brother. Let's let the other person have the bigger piece. Let's be generous and give up something we really want for someone else. His eyes lit up. It never occurred to him that it would be so special to give someone else the larger part. So, he did. The smile stayed on his face. There is so much grace in generosity.

Dear sweet Ev

I don't want too much time to pass by before I share something about you. You, my sweet and first daughter, are such a gift. I have so enjoyed getting to know you these past two months. You are incredibly sweet. I am not sure there is another word. You have been smiling from the beginning... long before they say you are able to and long before the boys ever did. You have the most precious rasp in your voice when you coo or cry. You sleep great! You are my first baby to sleep through the night this early on... it's not every night, but it is starting to become more nights than not. I have been in shock over having straight sleep. You have helped my survival... and during the day, you sleep so much too. Your awake time is always laid back, hanging out, loving your legs out of your clothes kicking around, and me just protecting you from your brothers, well, from Adam.

I can't wait till you can move around, crawl, talk some... interact more with your brothers.

I love that your daddy has a daughter now. I am loving watching him with you.

You are such a beautiful baby. You are such a chunk. In the 90% for height and 75% for weight at two months, weighing in at a whopping 12 lbs 13oz and your appointment last week. Loving those legs with so many rolls... and that chin, it hangs down.

I hope your eyes stay blue like your brothers' and I pray you keep sleeping well.

I am thrilled to finally have a daughter. It has been like dressing my own little baby doll. You are probably getting annoyed with all the bows, but I have to take advantage before you can remove them yourself.

I love you, Evelyn Rose, my little Ev, my precious Rosey cakes. You, are a beauty. You were beautifully made. Can't wait to tell you all about how much we love you and how much Jesus loves you.

Needing to catch up...

Writing tonight from Patrick's computer. Been having lots of trouble actually getting to a computer these days. Four kids in our home has left time for, well, nothing else. Tonight is the first night Evelyn has gone to sleep before 10.. and usually its more like midnight. It has been a tough transition for sure...

I am going to get caught up now. Stay tuned for blogs about the birth of Evelyn Rose, an update on the boys,  Evelyn's baptism, Easter, my retreat, life in Rhode Island, and my farewell to Nashville...

For now, I will tell you that life here is quite different. It has been very hard, but very good. The good Lord stripped us of all we know and are familiar with and brought us to our knees. We are alone here, managing well, but managing alone. It has been very good. We have more order, less running around, more peace, less distractions from friends, events, parties, and all other things that are good, but distracting.

I have managed to find a few friends, which is refreshing. I am realizing what a gift friendship is. I am realizing how precious it is for a Christian woman to have friends around her for support. Us moms need cheerleaders in our court as we stay at home and struggle to raise these beautiful children and give ourselves in love to our husbands. It is good to have friends who do the same. They are a gift.

All is well with Patrick's job. He is doing well, learning a lot, and working normal hours. It's refreshing. I love seeing him dressed up every morning. I love that we always have dinner together and no one is running out the door. It is all very very good.

Stay tuned... I have so much to write and say... and many pictures.