Thursday, August 9, 2012

I like being on his team

Yes, that is my hubs, above. The top picture is one morning when he let me sleep in... he is working on his computer, holding Anthony, feeding Gabriel breakfast, and rocking the baby with his foot. And you thought you had a busy morning! And the other picture is Gabriel crying because he fell and Patrick comforting him while holding Adam in the carrier because he had just finished vacuuming for me. This is the reason I married him. He is a helper. He is always doing everything to try to make my life easier... and as helpless as I feel sometimes, I hope I am doing the same.

I find that in many marriages it's all about marking off points on your own personal scoreboard. Who did more? How long have you been holding the crying baby? But, didn't you read to them last night? Who cleaned up the kitchen last? I took out the trash even though it's your job... and on and on.  I find myself doing this at times. I see my friends do it. And it is hard to not keep score. That is why I like being on the same team with Patrick, who never keeps score... if there isn't another team, how can you be keeping score? He is teaching me more and more that this is what marriage is all about. Doing whatever we can to serve one another. Lately, with our three little guys, I have felt completely helpless... and so much more reliant on him. He has adopted a new phrase, which has become my new favorite at this stage in the game... he continually says to me, "You are not a burden to me. I am right there in this with you. Ask me for anything."

It is in this new phrase that I hear often these days that I find peace. Just as Fr. Baker reminded us last night at Mass, our marriage has a purpose... it is to show the world the love of Jesus Christ. The way we love one another will be an example to others and prove to them the sacrificial, selfless, and complete love of Christ. So, although we do not have the perfect marriage by any stretch of the imagination... I hope that the idea of being on the same team inspires in you a greater love for your spouse. And know that if you have to be the first to come out of yourself and join his team, that he will soon follow. (And pray for that too!)