Saturday, July 31, 2010

My other little boy...

So, after the question a few weeks back when the women in line at the grocery store asked me if one day she would see me on TV like the Duggers, after I said I would love more kids after this second one, I have seemed to strike up lots of similar conversations in line (even with only one kid and one on the way). Today was my favorite yet... and maybe I am just totally pumped about having kids, but the lady in line made it very clear to me that she was "Done after three. I was just not going to do that to my kids and have more." I am not quite sure what she meant, but I just thought of Mother Teresa and how she said, "Saying there are too many children is like saying there are too many flowers. It just doesn't make sense." Who knows if we will ever be able to have more, although I hope we are, but I had never thought till today that anyone thought it such a huge bitter burden. Sure, it's hard, but doesn't it just make more people to love? I guess I am too laid back and like to fly by the seat of my pants a lot more than most... it's just that I feel pretty normal... lots of kids sound fun... hmmm... maybe this next one will show me differently.

It's pretty exciting to know I will be the mother of two little boys soon... if you would've asked me years ago where I would be now, I would have never guessed that I would be living in a house with three boys! But, us girly girls get a taste of dirt and adventure thanks to God's sense of humor.

Our little boy, Anthony, is due September 29th, 8 1/2 weeks from now. He has, hands down, been 3 times more active than Gabriel ever was in the womb. He never ever stops moving... that is why I am awake right now and Patrick is sleeping. Anthony will not stop moving, therefore I am awake. He is already head down with big feet sticking into my left side... although I can already tell that his feet will be smaller than Gabriel's when he arrives. Yesterday we had another ultrasound because Dr. Barrett was telling me I was measuring too small. We were not surprised to know that he is at the perfect size, right in the 48% for his "age" in the womb and all is well. During the whole ultrasound his little hand held on tight to his big toe and he played around. Then by the end we were able to get about three shots of him looking like the "thinking man" with his little fist up on his forehead. I got some thinking men in this house, let me tell ya.

It is finally getting real to me. We are having a baby. You would think with this belly in front of me it would have sunk in sooner, but it hasn't. I am finally realizing that our family is about to grow. It is so exciting I just can't be more thrilled to have another person here to love.

It is so amazing, this gift of motherhood. There is nothing like it and I wouldn't trade it for any comfort or cost in the world. It's totally exhausting, but totally fulfilling. Oh, thank you, Jesus, for all the blessings you have given to me and for all the pains you have borne for me.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Braggin' on my man


I started this on my anniversary... as life goes, I finish today...

Today (July 7th) I have been married for 3 years. Wow! Time super duper flies by so fast. Patrick and I were just working on setting up another couple yesterday... it seems this has been the tendency we have because we just love being married. We want to play cupid all the time and help others find marriage cause it's so awesome. We also just gave a talk on dating at Theology on Tap a few weeks back, which I would say was motivated by the same reasons... if it's your vocation to be married... whoop... let's get ya moving in the right direction because it doesn't get much better than this... to be striving towards Heaven as a married couple.

Of course, the world is stuck sometimes into the old ball and chain attitude where marriage is such a drag, and it totally can be if you can't continue to forgive, encourage and pour yourself out into your spouse. It just gets tougher, but God's grace comes through living a sacrament and it rains down and makes it all holy... many days I can feel the grace.

So today I will brag some on my sweet husband in celebration of the last three years. I have been blessed to have a man who I have seen work his butt off to provide for me and our family while going to class, grading papers, teaching, and working at the golf club. I love that he sees the big picture and is getting his PhD so that we will continue to be provided for down the line. Watching his brain swirl around all these papers, research and numerous statistical analysis that I can not even begin to understand impresses me every day. He is much more brilliant that I thought he was when I married him. I have seen him pour himself into teaching and really loving the experience of watching his students learn, which I totally get since I was a teacher.

I also love that he is a man of integrity and sincerity. He is so honest sometimes I question whether a filter needs to be put in place, but I love that he always tells me what he is thinking because it makes life so much more simple for me and us.

I love that when he says he forgives me he really means it and he never brings up the offense again. Never holding a grudge is something I so appreciate.... even when I bring it up again he pretends he has no clue what I am talking about. It is the biggest way my marriage has allowed me to learn of Christ's love... merciful. It has taught me how to forgive in a genuine way.

There are so many other things, but I would have to say that the most special element my husband has added to our marriage is the faith and trust he has in what God will do with our family. He has suffered bravely through a miscarriage with me and rejoiced in two other pregnancies with me. It is a gift to have a husband be thrilled to have another life come into ours. Being open to life in our marriage and practicing NFP for various reasons here and there has allowed us to become closer than ever and the freedom we have experienced in leaving our fertility in God's hands has been filled with grace that we experience every day in all aspects of our life with one another. We are never chained to our own plans, but only to God's... there is much freedom, but not without struggle of course, in working together to live in the Truth. The blessings are countless.

So, Happy Anniversary to my sweet husband, who I love so much, who I prayed for before we met, who I can not wait to spend another 5o plus years with! God is so good.

Friday, July 2, 2010


We have started a pretty awesome tradition in our home, which I just love. We daily crank up the tunes and have a dance party in the living room. Patrick usually starts it, I follow, and Gabriel takes only seconds to realize, "Oh, man, my parents are dancing like crazy people again." He gets over the embarrassment pretty quickly and joins in with his head nods, his bouncing, swaying and clapping of hands. Quite honestly, we go nuts and dance all over the room... we act like we are experts, but trust me, no one would ever hire us for their music video.

Anyway, after the party, we turn the music down and get about our day... one of us leaves for work and the other stays home to be the parent and housekeeper. The itunes music plays at random in the background while we go about our day. So, today, I am in the kitchen. Gabriel has just eaten and is stirring imaginary food in his bowl, I am unloading the dishwasher and cleaning dishes, and then I hear it.... Usher begins... his famous song called "Yeah." Now, you are thinking... this is a horrid song with lots of bad words and the story line is just totally awful. But, if it were 5 years ago in a small gym at Berry College you would have found me dancing to this song in front of hundreds of people... "seriously" I remembered. I can not believe I did such things. Then I flash back to reality and look at my sweet son, look at my dishes and it takes no effort to see this huge belly sticking out in front on me. I am married, with almost 2 kids, taking care of a house. I started cracking up.

What's the significance? It was just a small moment where God opened my eyes and said, "Look where I have brought you." It was a sweet gift to know that through his grace I made it here in this moment with a life so full. So, the truth is, there was nothing significant about it. It was just a moment where Usher reminded me of the woman God is growing me into through my vocation as wife and mom and it made me happy. God has brought me a very long way since those days in the gym performing to Usher. I am so grateful that my performances are now only for the private audience of Gabriel!