Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Sowing the seeds of kindness

When I went to the chiropractor yesterday, I had success at getting my kids to play in the "play area" which they rarely do... they usually want to follow me around. As I was sitting, watching them, watching the health education video up on the wall and waiting my turn another little boy entered the play area... his mom stood close by watching him. As Anthony likes to do, he was climbing into the mini chair in the play area and as he was half way in the other little boy climbed into the chair and pushed him right out.... I waited to see what the mom who watched the whole thing would do... because Gabriel saw what happened too and we are working so hard on "sharing" and "if someone else has it or is sitting in it first, we wait our turn."

WELL, the mom of the little boy didn't do a darn thing... as Anthony looked up at me and gave me the BIGGEST boo boo lip I have ever seen, the mom looked at her little boy, laughed and said with a little giggle, "OH, look, you've made that little boy sad." THAT WAS IT. NOTHING ELSE. No apology. No scolding. No asking him to get out since Anthony was there first. No removing him from the chair. (All the things I would obviously have done). And the boy was certainly old enough to have understood any of those reactions. Honestly, I guess I shouldn't have been, but I was stunned. It sounds small. But, it only would've taken the smallest act of kindness.

I grabbed both my kids out of the play room, ignored the lady, and waited for my turn. I was fuming (and pregnant), so the combination was NOT GOOD. I left there yesterday feeling angry, feeling betrayed that I have trusted the world to be kind and to respect me and most importantly, my kids, but the truth is, it's just not what goes on in the world. Kindness is very absent. Respect is very absent. Mediocrity and just letting things go because it's too much energy to correct and be consistent with correcting... this is our world. I'm not saying I'm perfect... but I try so hard.

So, after being pretty mad for almost a whole day I decided to change my perspective some. I was energized to not give up. I was pushed to be a better mom. I was inspired to teach my kids even more how to love, respect and be truly kind to others, even at the age they are at. Right now, what I teach them are just small seeds... you don't take a toy from someone else, you don't hit someone else if you are angry, you always use your manners, you always look people in the eye when they speak to you, you become aware of how the people around you are doing (by asking them "How are you today?), you are affectionate with family members and always greet them and depart from them properly. The list goes on... but it's not difficult to teach kids if you have rewards and consequences and are consistent with them. They are much more receptive than we give them credit for.

To sum it up, my inspiration and motivation and hope was that we can form these little souls in such a way that when they encounter someone that they will always leave them better than how they found them.

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