Every day I have to look into their eyes and be reminded that these children are a gift from God and each moment with them is an act of obedience to God... He has entrusted them to me.
They are the ones meek and humble. I am the one learning from them. That being said, they are also learning from me. When I see one of them yell at the other, I remember that it is me who has taught them to yell. My self control, my meekness reflects on them. My agitation, my aggression, my anger, my quick switch... also reflects on them.
Thanks to Michelle Dugger, I have recently begun a new practice. Every time I am tempted to yell, I whisper instead. This is a very hard thing to do. I see the Lord's great plan for my holiness and detachment to my sentiments as he teaches me this self control. You say, they won't listen... but try it... they want to stop and strain to hear what it is you are saying to them... they love you.
"Mom, I'm hungry."
"Mom, this is very bad. Come see what Adam did."
"Mom, please get me something to drink."
"Mom, can you put this costume on me?'
"Mom, will you play legos with me?"
"Mom, I'm SO hungry."
"Mom, what time is it? Are my friends home yet?"
"Mom, I don't want to do that."
"Mom, can you come wipe me."
"Mom, I was playing with that first."
"Mom, I need help."
"Mom, I don't want to take my nap."
And the list goes on...
My name is called hundreds of times a day. Let's not mention the small baby who cannot even say "Mom" yet. She certainly tells me when she needs something.
My patience starts to wear thin and I carry people around, hear my name, feed people, and wish to sit for just a moment. I start to grow grumpy and tired as the day goes on. I then start to raise my voice. Why does everyone need ME? Ahh. I just need a minute. But, no, it is me HE calls to, not them. They are my cross. They are my path. I must learn to be a mother of gentleness and humility and service. Of course, I need to correct them, I need to protect them, and I need to set boundaries, but quietly and consistently.
So, I am working with many failures to stop raising my voice. I am trying to keep it peaceful here. I am the only one, along with their dad, who will teach them their first taste of peace. It's of eternal importance.
Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart more like yours.