Saturday, October 4, 2014

Grab your marriage. Hold it tight.

I love that my mother in law makes fun of me for always using the word "grab." I never realized how much I used that word, but I do. I use it for everything... and likewise, so do my children.

All of these beautiful faces above are extremely distracting, extremely important, and utterly sanctifying. They are the joys and the challenges of my every day... but many times they pull me away from my marriage.

I am working daily on trying to figure out how to conserve energy at the end of the day for my husband...

I am working daily on trying to contain my sarcastic comments about how he got to drive to and from work in a quiet car alone and got to eat lunch without a child on his lap...

I am working daily on remembering that we have different roles in this venture, mine in the home, his outside the home, each with their very unique struggles, pressures and crosses...

It is tough to not compare, not weigh, not complain, not judge, not hold a grudge.

Again, I ask the Lord, what do you want of me, O, God? How can I do this better? How can I control my sentiments that at times just want to be so selfish with hurtful words and a bitter attitude? How is it that You can soften my heart, Lord? I need more patience. More joy. More openness.

Praying for all of this. Trying to every day actually remember to grab my marriage and hold it so tight, so it doesn't get left behind, get worn out, or get forgotten in the mix. I try to hug him, hold his hand, remember to kiss him, and try to be sincere when I look him in the eyes. Some days it is so very hard after a day that is so very hard. Praying for the grace to love better the man I love so incredibly much.

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