A reflection for a tough few months

"The decision about the number of children and the sacrifices to be made for them must not be taken only with a view to adding comfort and preserving a peaceful existence. Reflecting upon this matter before God, with the graces drawn from the sacrament, and guided by the teaching of the Church, parents will remind themselves that it is certainly less serious to deny their children certain comforts or material advantages than to deprive them of the presence of brothers and sisters who could help them to grow in humanity and to realize the beauty of life at all ages and in all its variety" (1979). Blessed Pope John Paul II


I am glad that JPII can always put us in our place. It has been tough being pregnant this time around. The migraines have done me in. The exhaustion, sick kids, and finances have caused stress and worries. But, the moment is always passing. The grace is always there for that moment and we get through it. And when I worry about what I can not give to them, I love to be refocused on what I am giving them: one another. I feel certain nothing can ever be more important than that. If my only goal is to teach them love, well then, the school of siblings is the best. A teacher of selfless love, helping one another, pitching in, feeling part of something bigger than yourself, having friendship and companions, having more people in your daily life to love and love you. I can't see that anything would weigh heavier than love. In the end, that is all that remains anyway.

Asking

"You pay God a compliment by asking great things of Him.” - St. Teresa of Avila

Today on the feast of St. Teresa I saw that someone had this quote on their facebook wall. It seems that quotes from saints are one of the only reasons I tend to keep my account... I just love reflecting on them. I like to be deep. My heart doesn't have trouble going there.

I was reminded today to ask more. In the midst of kids, my sweet husband, helping to run this school, and feeling pretty terrible, I have forgotten to ask help from Jesus. I am in constant need... a place He loves me to be, so He can be needed more. And I'll be darned if I haven't asked. 

I need help, Lord. I need more patience, to learn to lower my voice when correcting my kids. I need help. I need your healing power to keep me well, so I can take care of my children for each long day they are in my care. I need help encouraging and supporting my husband as he finds where God wants him to be. 

I resolve to ask more. To ask bigger. And to ask more specifically. You are Lord. You can do it if You will. 

The promise I made...

I found this when I was cleaning out my disaster of a closet/office/trash room/storage. It appears to be more of an office now, at least when I can keep the door closed. I found many treasures, but this was the greatest.

I had committed myself to this promise so often while growing up, while learning what chastity was, while struggling through high school and college with the peer pressure and the expectations so many guys had and what I thought could give me worth. Confession was the only thing that actually got me through. Continuing to renew myself, so failure would never happen. Continuing to have Christ remind me that even in the struggle, I could get back up and still keep my eyes on the prize. I offered every moment for a man who would do the same.

The last time I signed one of these cards was on the date you see below, 7-8-02... considering the amazing party that followed our wedding Mass on 7-7-07, this promise was made exactly 5 years before I gave myself away for the first time. Thank you, Jesus, for your mercy, and the undeserved grace to make this happen. There is not a day that goes by that I am not overwhelmed with gratitude that God saw me through this promise.