Tuesday, February 28, 2012

If I could be anywhere, doing anything... it would be right here, doing this.

Pictures above... our afternoons "hiking" around our small "mountain hill" and eating a snack with our friend Charlie!

ABOVE: The mornings: We always brush our teeth together! It's always hilarious.
BELOW: The evenings... the boys watching themselves on a video I took... and a small photo shoot in between hide and seek and cleaning up the kitchen.

Being a mom is hard work. There are days I wake up listening to Anthony crying or Gabriel screaming, "MOMMY, come and get me!!" and I just want to roll over in bed and yell back, "The sun isn't up yet... call me when you see even a glimmer of light." (I giggle to myself, roll out of bed, slap my face some, and march my pregnant butt up the stairs to smile at the two faces who love me most in this world). And then the day begins...

Even though I had spent at least an hour cleaning up the kitchen the night before, making sure the coffee was ready to go and the floor was clean... the kitchen soon gets a beating again while Gabriel spills the milk he is drinking out of his bowl onto the floor and Anthony throws his food and says, "UHT OHH." I manage to make the breakfast, eat with them, unload the dishwasher, clean up the kitchen (on my hands and knees again), and off to get everyone dressed and ready.

While I shower there is at least one fight, one emergency bathroom run (where I jump out of the shower to put Gabriel on the potty), and Anthony generally empties my bathroom cabinets, but he is occupied, so I let it be. They are usually watching a movie, while I finish getting dressed, bow dry my hair and pack up a bag of snacks and drinks to take along with us. I usually spend at least 20 minutes getting Gabriel to wear the outfit I picked out and not Anthony's (although, yes, it was your outfit months ago, when it fit you, but now it fits Anthony, so you are sharing your clothes) and then I lay on top of Anthony to dress him while he battles me to stay naked... he would surely stay naked ALL day if I let him. OK, do I have enough energy to go on. I see now that Anthony has emptied the tupperware cabinet AND has a poop, Gabriel decided to vacuum and help by emptying it, and someone wrote all over my grocery list. We can do this. I know we can make it out the door. Change the diaper, one more potty run for Gabriel and the pregnant mom, and one more melt down where both of them are hugging me and trying to get the other not to hug me...

We finally make it out the door, but not without doing it in slow motion... while Gabriel has to climb in himself, buckle himself and make sure he has his drink close by. And then I yet again, lay on Anthony while trying to strap him in his seat... he is a strong little dude. We pull out of the driveway and I sit for awhile, relieved we made it out of the house... in one piece... and we are all clothed. Generally, even though it's like 9am at this point, I am eating my second meal of the day because the morning exhausted me and made me so hungry. From the driveway to wherever we are going Gabriel asks all about what we are doing, where we are going and when we will be there... and Anthony tries to talk over him. It's really quiet in the car... haha.

We go about our day... while I load and unload them... maybe grocery shop, maybe run around the park, go to story time, or stop by a friend's house. By noon Anthony falls asleep in the car (after eating a lunch I packed for him) and we head home for me and Gabriel's story time and lunch... while Anthony sleeps, we always read, or bake, or play hide and seek. Then Gabriel goes to sleep... and so do I! We all nap... for however long they let me... and when we wake up, we hit the ground running once again... playing outside, games inside, maybe an episode of Blues Clues, reading books, coloring, and a snack. Then comes preparing dinner... PURE CHAOS. By this time, Anthony is hanging on my legs, Gabriel wants to play ten different games, and they are ready to eat... it is CRAZY. So, we push through till Dad gets home and we all sit down to eat together. Prayer time at the dinner table is hilarious... Anthony trying to do the sign of the cross the whole time Gabriel is praying... but trying to sneak a bite at the same time. Then baths. Then trying to dress them. The cleaning the kitchen. Then books. Then prayer. And bed. It is the most exhausting day. Every day. Not to mention that in between I am disciplining both of them, loving on both of them... and always chasing both of them down.

So, I asked a good friend tonight... how can I love my life more? Especially when it can be so monotonous, so hard, such long days, such thankless days, and such exhausting days. She reminded me to do a few things... enjoy my nap, get time away from my kids here and there (and thanks to my husband, I do), and to write down all the things that give me comic relief throughout the day. And since she is a counselor by trade, she asked me, "Kristi, is there anywhere else you would like to be? Corporate America? Anywhere?" It took me no time to answer. "NO." If I could be anywhere, doing anything, it is right here. No questions asked. This is what I have always wanted. A big family, a home to create, an amazing husband. God is generous. He has given me the whole caboodle. So, as of tonight, written in lipstick on my mirror, it will say just that: "If I could be anywhere, it would be right here." (I mean, of course, the beach would be nice... but you get what I mean). Right here... as a stay at home mom. In the place God wills me to be. It is nice to be reminded that I love what I do.

And then I remembered the quote my friend, Lauri has on her wall... and after looking around at my messy house and kitchen tonight... but, then looking at my big belly and my two precious boys... I felt the quote to be appropriate for all of us. It goes like this:

"We may not have it all together, but together, we have it all."

As much as it all feels like a mess sometimes, OK, all the time, it is really just perfect.

1 comment:

  1. I know exactly wat you mean (except more props to you for doing it with two and one on the way!)... Some days I can't believe I'm living in Europe, raising a son without family or friends, sad that the time change keeps me from connecting with them more often than not...and then I think, gah, I'm SO lucky. God has truly blessed me. There's nothing else I'd rather be doing!