I just want to sit with him face to face and ask, "What do you want of me, Lord?" and I want Him to answer back, in clear words, with a gentle look, and with a clear goal. I want to hear the words. I need some contact.
I feel these days as if I am drowning... in kids, in laundry, in dishes, in financial decisions. Its constant. There is not a moment for myself. So, I wonder if he is asking for me to become less... less important, less achieved, less of everything...
He became a slave for us. Many days, I say to Patrick... "I'm just a slave, a lowly worker." Maybe that is all I am being asked. So, now to achieve it with great love. That is the part I'm struggling so much with. Then I would be more like him.
Help me, Lord. I need patience as you continue to ask humility of me.
YES. It's humbling. I'm a very much servant-grumbler. I complain, I loose it. I've been known to tell Andrew, "I'm a freakn' pooper scooper and a milk cow...I'm going to bed." shoot. But alas, I know I'm called to love more, complain less, and it's not humanly possible except for God. and then I fall to my knees and say, "Lord I need you." I suspect He loves when we get to that point ;) Thanks for posting this. I love your honesty and humility to share.
ReplyDelete